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Writer's pictureJeff Mugongo

Journey to finding LOVE

Songwriters, musicians, people, and poets have talked and sung about love. Is it possible to find love? The answer to this question is. . .


Love is so simple, yet tough.

Love is different.

Love is oneness.

Love is God.

I am Love.

but is love enough?

what is love?

Will I ever find love?

Yes.



WHAT IS LOVE?

According to the dictionary, "Love is an INTENSE feeling of deep affection." As the research continues, "Love is a set of emotions characterized by intimacy, passion, and commitment. It involves care, closeness, protectiveness, attraction, affection, and trust. Love can change over time, and can be misunderstood."


As researchers and psychologists search to understand love. They found that there is a slight difference between liking someone and loving someone.


Psychologist Zick Rubin scales liking and loving. He simply splits love into 3 elements.


  • Attachment: Needing to be with another person and desiring physical contact and approval.

  • Caring: Valuing the other person's happiness and needs as much as your own.

  • Intimacy: Sharing private thoughts, feelings, and desires with the other person.




 


"Time is too slow for those who wait,

too swift for those who fear,

too long for those who grieve,

too short for those who rejoice,

but for those who love, time is eternity."

- Henry Van Dyke


I noticed, I marked "love can change over time." Sometimes we try to find just love, can we even define love? How can we, when some of us haven't experienced it yet?


In this day and age, it's nearly impossible to believe that you haven't experienced love.


We have all experienced love.

We all look for love,

but we are love.


Everything we do requires some level of love for it. At the moment we might feel tired and whatever we are doing at that moment may not feel pleasant. But we still do it, until we accomplish whatever goal we have. That goal may be to keep a roof over your head, food in your belly, or as small as buying a present and taking your girlfriend out on a date. If you don't have a girlfriend or a wife...


Honestly,


If you feel like you have a lot of love to give, it doesn't take much, it takes nothing material. You simply become love and if you feel love, show it, give it. It doesn't have to be a person you want to pursue, you can treat your friend, sister, brother, mom, or dad.


I don't need to write this because you already know it. I am writing it, maybe as a good reminder to myself and to the young man or woman who is after love.








"Love can be faked by the mind. Find true love, the one that can only be found in the heart, don't settle for less."




 


I asked my siblings, "what is love to you?"

What could my 18 and 20-year-old siblings possibly know about love.. hmm I don't know, let's ask them.



SIMBI, age 20 what is love to you?

"Well,

To me love is when you don't know why you love that person or anything, just the thought of them makes you happy, and also want nothing but happiness for them no matter what or when you want to do everything you can for them just to see them succeed or happy that's love to me."


"Like God's love for us. We sin every day but he still makes sure we have whatever we need and knows that some people will never love him even though we know he died for us.

Now, that's unconditional love."





 


SABA, age 18 What is love to you?

"Love is finding the person who will stick by your side through thick n thin and who will fight battles with you rather than watch you fight your battles.


Love is when you can be open and not feel judged. Love is no matter what the situation was you and that person can look past it and not hold grudges.


Love is being able to smile every day thinking about that person rather than waking up to it being a regular day.


Love is being able to admire that person's flaws, also not giving up easily, and giving them multiple chances because you know that they can do better beside you.


Love is being able to understand that arguments are talks rather than judging and having to leave.


It's also being able to know you got their back the same way they got you.


Love is being able to be responsible and keeping it 100.


Lastly,


Love is when you know that your person has their eye on you no matter how many people have their eye on them.


But I haven't found that yet, but that's really what it is."




 


is love enough to build a legacy?



In order to build a strong, stable, loving home, first I must fully embody these words.

By wisdom, a house is built, and by understanding, it is established; by knowledge, the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.

Proverbs 24:3-4


Love never gives up,

never loses faith,

is always hopeful,

and endures through every circumstance.

- 1 Corinthians 13:7




 


What is self-love

Self-Love

Before we even love someone, unconditionally, we need to heal.


But Jeff it's hard out here how can we heal and find self-love?


Sharon Martin, LCSW, shares with us what self-love is. . .


Self-love means accepting yourself fully, treating yourself with, kindness and respect, and nurturing your growth and well-being.



What this means is that. We learn to release all the beliefs we have about ourselves and just simply allow ourselves to JUST BE. All the beliefs that hold you from becoming your best self need to go.


It also means learning about yourself, your mind, your body, and of course your spirit. It takes commitment and persistence. It does not require much, just a little more self-appreciation.


Sharon also shared with us that,


When you love yourself, you have an overall positive view of yourself. This does not mean you feel positive about yourself all the time. That's not realistic. For example, I can temporarily feel upset, angry, or disappointed with myself and still love myself. If this is confusing, think about how this works in relationships.


We can think and talk about love all day long because love is good. Love is eternal. I hope that one day you will find your love but before you find your love make sure you find your self-love first, so you can love someone else like you love yourself.


Cheers!



JEFF mugongo

Athlete | Fitness Coach | Writer



Just a shepherd traveling through.

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